1.Beat up people and you are forgiven
If you need to vent out some anger on an ex or just feel like going on the rampage with a pair of desi nunchucks, Navaratri is the time as all is forgiven. Poke them in the eye, bust their knuckles or straight up bash the living daylights out of them all to the beats of ‘Sanedo Sanedo’.
2.Go Star-wars on them
Here’s an idea: Get your hands on some lightsabers and channel the Jedi in you during Dandiya. You are sure to turn a few heads with a neon green “Dandiya stick” that puts everyone else to shame. If you are more ‘dark side’ than Jedi, then dress up in a Darth Vader Dandiya outfit. Maybe the cape can be blinged up in the Dandiya spirit. If you do pull off something like this, make sure you send us pictures and beer is on me ‘Aai shappath’.
3.‘Tadofy’ with permission
It’s officially Gujju dating season and it’s a breath of fresh air when usually conservative parents push their kids into getting more social. It’s the only time when it’s ok to be out dancing the night away and do all the things we have been doing since 16.
4.Dress up like Bappi Lahiri
It’s all about the bling during Navaratri. Gold, red, green, yellow. Subtlety can take a back seat and it’s time to let your inner Bappi out of the bag. Necklaces, bracelets, chaniya cholis, kediyus all decked up with mirrors. It’s the perfect excuse for dressing up as a light emitting diode.
5.Guys can wear a skirt.
It’s like an Indian version of a kilt but with so much more swag. Kediyus are the most epic thing since dhokla and, trust me, I take my dhokla seriously. It’s an amazing feeling you get when doing the ‘popat step’. Stealing their thunder, watching all those pretty women go green with envy is worth wearing the kediyu.
6.We all go Vegan
It’s vrat season and it’s a time when butter chicken fanatics become Tandoori teetotalers and go full on veggie mode for nine days of Navratri. There are always pangs and cravings that make life nightmarish, but some of the Navratri specialties like Motia pulao, kuttu ke pakore, and Samak kheer make the season bearable.
7.Condom sales go up
There is an inexplicable link between condom sales and Garba season, with a sudden spike in numbers being witnessed year on year during Navratri. It’s apparent that this is no coincidence. We are happy that people are ‘Doing the rex’ along with the Garba, as long as they stay safe.
8. People dance sober
It’s the only time you will ever see so many people dancing stone sober. It usually takes at least three Patialas in the system to get guys to consider shaking a leg, but come Dandiya season and the entire Gujju population catches a serious case of Saturday night fever.
9.The DJ plays Dhol baaje
It’s the only time of the year when you get to hear Garba Ras at a club night. The DJ gets requests ranging from Dhol baje to Shubarambh and it’s a no-holds-barred Bollywood fest. If you can let your hair down and stop being a hipster, it’s actually fun to listen to some peppy Dandiya tracks.
10.The Pathak returns
Yes, It’s Falguni I’m talking about. She is everyone’s beloved Dandiya queen. She is usually in hibernation for the other 354 days of the year, but come Dandiya season and Pathak is everywhere. With her grabbing up to Rs 2 crores in her kitty for a performance, I’m assuming she can afford to vacation the rest of the year.